i saw this on tumblr a few days ago & thought it make a very good post. partially because i do have loads i wish i would have said, i mean i still could, but itd be smarter for me to write it down. & these are in no particular order.
1. i miss you. everyday. i feel bad that things went down the way they did in our family and that i havent seen you in way too long. i guess its too late now. you are forever in my heart and i wish so badly that we could have been closer, especially lately. i love you so much. you were my protector as a kid. someone that always made me laugh and someone i could count on. most of my childhood memories include you. i wish my adult memories could also include you. i wish you could have met tanner, and i wish i could have said i love you one last time. ill see you on the other side.
2. you taught me a lot. mostly about the person i am and who i can become. you were once my best friend and now your just someone from my past. thank you for letting me be selfish and letting me go when i wanted my space. it has made us stronger and helped us grow up.
3. you have influenced me more than anyone else. you helped me realize how much i can do. i may only be one person but i know that i can make a change. the things you told me senior year are forever engraved on my heart. i hope that you will forever be a part of my life. you are one of the greatest friends i have ever had. you give the best advice and you tell me things the way the are. i am so thankful that you never sugarcoated things to protect my feelings. i want to make a change in this crazy world because of what you have taught me. thanks for all the awesome books, music, websites, toms, and an amazing nickname.
4. people call you a big dumbie, a liar, and slow. but you are pretty much amazing. you are like the older sister i always needed. you made me feel pretty. you make me laugh because youre so ditzy. i appreciate the example you have been since day one. im so happy that when i was born you wanted to hold me all by yourself and you even gave your mom attitude when she tried to help you. you mean so much to me and always will.
5. i fell in love with you so fast. i didnt think it was possible to want something so bad, or know that i was missing something until i met you. you make me happy all the time. lately i have been such a grumpy trick to you and im sorry. you are the love of my life and i am so lucky that you are not only my best friend but also my number one. i was scared when we first started talking. scared of what people would say and what people would assume. but im glad that i fell so hard. i honestly have no idea where id be if you hadnt come into my life when you did. theres a reason we became such close friends junior year. i love you to the stars and back, for infinity.
6. we hated eachother at one point. im sorry i hurt you. im sorry that i disregarded your feelings to make myself happy. you are truly a beautiful person. inside and out. i wish i was as social and fun as you. im glad that you are happy and that you finally got your first kiss. i love you! you will forever be my bestest friend. thanks for always having my back, being there for me when i cried, and for making me laugh constantly.
7. for a while i was so scared that you would turn out the complete opposite of what i wanted for you. you are a gorgeous girl with so much in store for you. i am so happy you let me drive you to the temple and talk to you. i hope you dont settle for anything less than getting married there. you are amazing in so many ways. i love you.
8. we didnt get really close until i got to middle school and i am eternally grateful that you became my best friend so fast. you never judge. youre the best listener and give such good advice. you know how to say everything perfectly when all i can think is a bunch of mush. we hardly see eachother, but we talk everyday no doubt. you are my eternal friend whether you like it or not. youre stronger than you know and you are such an amazing example. i am so happy that you are getting back into church and that you have an amazing guy that is making you so happy. you deserve all that and more.
9. you were the only person that called me glo for a long time. no one will ever understand our relationship. youve been there for longer than i can remember. it didnt matter how long it had been that we hadnt seen eachother, i know your a phone call away. you tell me things that can always make me feel better. i remember bawling to you on the phone and youd just sit and listen until i could talk. you made me feel strong when i literally felt like nothing. no matter what time of day you were the guy i could trust. i honestly dont care what anyone says, youll be my first best friend forever.
10. i hate how fast youre growing up. youre becoming such a man and i hate that i am missing so much that is going on in your life. youre a beast all around. i am proud to call you my brother.
11. i am so appreciative of you two. thanks for letting me move to utah and live on my own. you both are incredible in so many ways. you are such hard workers and i appreciate all you do for our family. ill love you forever!
12. i call you my cousin because its too hard to explain how you are family. you may not be blood but you might as well be. i met you when you were 12 & now youre a beautiful 18 year old. you are strong. you can do anything you want. dont let anyone tell you differently. you have had a hard life, but know that no matter what i am here. ill see you at my wedding, waiting outside the temple to give me a hug. :)
13. ive watched you grow up since you were a 3rd grader. crazy to think that ive known you that long and been able to hopefully make an impact on your life. i always stick up for you even if you dont think so. you make mistakes but i love you unconditionally. i consider you my baby sister and im so happy that we are close.
14. you are practically my big brother. i have told you things that no one else knows. i am so happy that as weve grown up you have become someone i can always talk to. looking back on our childhood and remembering good times, i know that there are even more to come. thank you for always being there no matter what time. for always making time to visit me while your in town and constantly checking up on me. i love you.
15. i know now why i have your name. i feel closer to you than anyone else. i am so blessed to be your name sake. i hope that when i am your age i am atleast half as amazing as you are. you are the most giving person i know. youre an incredible cook and i appreciate how in tune you are. you are so patient and care about everyone. when things happen to me that no one understands you always do. i hope you stay alive forever.
16. ever since we were little i looked up to you. you were always so funny. as i got older you became more important in my life. family whether you like it or not. im grateful for your friendship and example in my life.
17. i dont think you realize that note you wrote me at girls camp and the talk you had with me up on the zipline changed me in so many ways. you told me that i needed to find someone that would honor me and someone that would make me happy. in the note you told me how excited you were that in a few short years you would be able to see me get married in the temple. i didnt realize until late how much i needed that talk.
18. i am thankful to call you two my roommates but moreso my friends. we have too many fun times and no one will understand our late nights. it makes me happy that you guys never judge, always listen, and are always on my side. i hope that we forever stay friends. utah wouldnt be the same without you both.
19. we get too excited when were together. you make my abs hurt cus we laugh too much. weve been friends since freshman year and i honestly would be lost without you. the talks that we had last year will always mean way too much to me. you are an incredible girl. beautiful in too many ways. i love you more than you know
20. i could say so many funny times we had but i am thankful for you and the good listener you are. you always have juicy drama that is so fun to hear. you are hilarious. a good person to everyone and i envy that. youll be a bridesmaid at my wedding and an aunt to my children whether you like it or not ;)
