day three.

What is your love language?

i am not exactly positive as to what this means- so im gonna take it in my own direction. im gonna say this is how i show my love.

i really believe in the saying actions speak louder than words. i think saying that you love people is great and totally necessary- but i think that showing people you love them is even better. it makes people happy, makes them feel good, and it makes people realize you arent just saying things.

i think this is part of why i love tanner so much. before we started dating he was an amazing friend. he showed his love & totally cared about me. i could tell because he always would check on me, hug me when i needed it, and truly cared about me in soo many ways.

i think my parents are the same way. they do a lot of things because they love me. they show their love all the time. they let me go off to school and be independent. they are the best.

this probably made close to no sense. but OH WELLLLLL.


just btw- work was awesome today. i loved it today.

day two.

What do you think people misunderstand about you?

this post could honestly be a novel. i think that i am a very misunderstood person. growing up people always thought i was mean, rude, a B, what have you--which sometimes can be true, not gonna lie, but its because i have a poker face. im not a smiley person. i dont find it necessary to always smile. hahah

but yeah- i promise im really nice! when i need to be mean i for sure can be, but for the most part im a sweetheart :)

a lot of things about me people just dont get. i really dont food. i think its gross. it makes me grossed out and i think it stinks. i dont eat meat because its SICK. its bloody and chewy and just nasty. they way food looks depends on if ill eat it, and if it stinks, forget about it. i am very picky when i do decide to eat. i like pizza. pasta. veggies and fruit. & seafood. thats kind of it. if its homemade ill eat it but yeah- food is gross. haha

im extremelyyyy blunt. i say things how they are and i dont feel like sugar coating things does anything for anyone. sometimes that blunt personality of mine comes off as mean- but i dont mean anything by it. i just really cant help it. i try my best to just bite my tongues but i cant. oops. 

i could go on and on about the things that people just misunderstand about me but its not all that necessary. everyone has there weird quirks and my list is just a lil long :)

soooooo Deejmbl yesterday said that i havent done one of these ina while- and shes tight sooo i decided i should most definitely count my blessings today!

-thankful for my job. its stresses me out but its really fun and its get me $$$$$/

-thankful for fruit. lately i eat a mango or a banana or something every day and i love it! it makes my body feel more energized. 

-thankful for byu baseball. baseball season is quite exciting and more exciting when i get to watch tanner. today they played UNR and i got to watch thanks to Tessa! tanner did soo good today! he was 3-5 with an RBI and a double. :) he has the highest batting average & is an absolute beast. 

-thankful for sleep. lately i could honestly just sleep for DAYS. its the best.

-thankful for conference this weekend. i cannot wait. conference is seriously the best thing ever. plus im gonna cook Tanner breakfast that morning :)

-thankful for Deejmbl, Hadley, Ali, Suzie, Kailee, Nin, and everyone else that ive been hanging out with lately. I love them all. 

-thankful for facetime. when tanner is gone on his trips its easy to talk with facetime. 

-thankful for life. its good. :)

day one.

starting from number 30.

10 things you would hope to be remember for.

1. i hope people remember me as that girl that was a good listener.
2. i hope people remember me as that girl that was a great friend all the time. no matter the circumstance.
3. i hope people remember me as that girl that tried her best at everything.
4. i hope people remember me as that girl who cared and put her family first.
5. i hope people remember me as that girl that was an awesome wife and mother. (when that time comes)
6. i hope people remember me as that girl who loved all and constantly reminded people why and how much she loved them.
7. i hope people remember me as that girl was dependable.
8. i hope people remember me as that girl who grew up to be a woman who accomplished her goals.
9. i hope people remember me as that girl who was an example in the gospel and got married in the temple because family is most important.
10. i hope people remember me as that girl who didnt have regrets but made mistakes and learned from them.

sometimes i wonder if people get sick of my life and everything that comes along with it. but then i realize that you really dont have to read this if you dont want to. ha but i think sometimes i write this blog for myself. to remember how i feel and to remember what i am thinking at times. so yeah-- living on my own here in utah i have really realized a lot. i noticed that prayer was something that i really really needed and learned to rely on. i think its important in my life to pray- especially when i feel alone being so far from family. church has been something that has become more important as ive grown up and especially living on my own. today at church was testimony meeting and i am so so so excited for general conference next weekend. along with growing up and making church more important- conference has also become similar. i am so excited for it.

i think i have too much going on in my mind to even blog as much as i would like to. list of things on my mind tho


-tanners mission
-school
-temple this week
-work
-sleep
-tanners mission 
-baseball season
-summer
-moving
-finals
-money
-tanners missoin
-hunger games
-headache
-family
-aunt olivia
-friends and their relationships
-family
-tanners mission. 


my life is kinda djghiufbekbvsdkfjaf. but amazing at the same time.

&& something ima do starting in april. hopefully. starting at number 30 & going down.


30 Days of Blogging

1. List 20 random facts about yourself 
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to 19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

my life is kinda awesome.

quickly...

i need to update here :) i have work in about half an hour- first day! & im so excited. there is a party today at the store so it should be really fun :)

but anyway- last night/ yesterday was awesome. the weather here right now is beyond amazing. its sunny with a lil breeze. completely spring time weather & i love it! it was warm enough that nin & i went out to the pool & sat in pool chairs to tan. i did homework out there too. earlier kailee and i went to sonic in SHORTS- awesome, and got sprite lemonade slushies. SO good if you are looking for a new drink. i never come to sonic up here because it is a good 5 miles away. but thats a good thing because i should really not be drinking soda. ha

anyway- ali hill and i went to dinner at wingers then went to her house before the hunger games. we had a lot of awesome conversations and made these cute necklaces- love hanging out with her. shes awesome.

our mokingjay necklaces for the midnight showing of hunger games made out of shrinky dink :)

ali & i at wingers. making tanner & jaycob jealous ;)

our movie was at 12:40. it was way good and for the most part followed the book really well. i was extremely happy with it. we went to a theater out in american fork and i didnt get home until like 4:30am. haha but yeah it was a fun day.

before work i am just watching the live stats for tanners game. they are playing portland and i wish i could be there! 

tanner starting at short & leading off. 

til next time. 

im kind of a liar.

i am well aware that i said i would be blogging everyday for the month of march. & trust me, i fully planned on making that happen. soo after almost 2 weeks of not blogging im gonna have to play MAJOR catchup. which, btw i hate. i feel like when i blog right away i get a better explanation as to what actually happened. so you get the condensed version.

this past week was spring break for me. SUPER early, but much needed. last last friday i took two tests- which btw i did awesome on, then headed down to vegas. the drive seemed really short, but maybe it is because i was so excited to get home. this was the longest ive gone without seeing my family. 2 months. so i was stoked. i got home and stopped at jakes first track meet. he did awesome. he is pole vaulting and he ran the 100. he took second and is seriously such a good athlete. i wish that i could always go to his meets, games, and tournaments. i love being able to support him. after that i stopped by my grandmas &went to donut tyme. if youre not from vegas you have no idea what that is. but its a 24hr donut shop & its amazing.

so yeah the next day i was leaving for california with madilynne & sarah to go watch tanner play. i was SO excited because it was the first game i would watch him play at the college level. besides his scrimmage in october. anyway- i drove to cali saturday early morning and got there before the game. i really missed spending time with sarah. she is such a good friend and always has been. madilynne slept the entire drive but that didnt matter much. got to the game and after got to see tanner for a lil. i wish i could have been there for the entire series rather than just one game- but it was still good.

sarah mad & i had no idea what we wanted to do the rest of the day so we went to venice beach. i havent been there in forever. its gotten pretty dirty and gross but it was still fun. we walked around the shops and then went to down to the actual beach. it was pretty cold- but soo pretty. after that we headed up to northrige to stay with my uncle but stopped for thai food on the way.

sunday morning we went down to downtown LA to go shopping. i know, shame on me for going on sunday. but yeah mad & sarah bough turtles and it was nice just to spend time with both of them. we headed back to vegas after that. that night i went with everyone minus mad to landon and quans. i seriously miss spending time with them. they are my favorite.

the rest of the week i spent time with the important people. mostly family and friends. it was a perfect spring break. i realize how much i love going home when im there. on thursday night i went into my parents bed and had cuddle time with them :) am i too old for that? cus i dont care hahaha i miss spending time with people that mean so much and have been there for me always. i got to see kara brinkerhoff, and aunt tra which was totally needed. love those ladies. also geej (miss horton) mr kloeker and mrs brockett. i love all the people in my life. i have no idea what id do without them. i wish it was longer but it was still awesome. i got back to provo on friday and spent some time with tanner. saturday was the first home series and it was SO cold compared to vegas. after the game i went with the chauncey family to meet aubreys baby oakley. hes super cute! after we all went to cafe rio then hung out at tessas. sunday morning i went to tessas ward to hear her & tyler give talks in sacraments. which btw you both did awesome. after that went back to tessas and spent time with the chaunceys. i love that family. they are so fun & so easy to get along with.  overall i have an amazing life with spectacular people in it. lifes really really good.

i decided that instead of just putting all my pictures up id make a slide show. the first video is jake taking second in the 100. the pictures are from the week & the second video is tanners double in yesterdays game :)

i find it....

necessary to blog right this moment :) 

so i have been looking for a job like crazy. applying at tons of places because for summer im staying in orem & going to school. soo a job is necessary. so last week i got a call for an interview and it was supposed to be a group interview with 10 people and it ended up being me & another girl. crazy. so yeah the next day i got another call for another interview. basically i had to do a test on my integrity & customer service. i scored 99%. so today i had another interview with the manager & i got the job!! i am officially employed at build-a-bear workshop :) my official title is bear builder. im extremely excited. it is gonna be such a fun job :)

so yeah im so excited for this. also super big thanks to julie and crystal for being awesome references. when i got hired the manager told me that my references made it seem like id be an awesome employee there! also im going home this weekend.my spring break starts friday and i cannot wait. i feel like its been foreverrrr since ive seen my family. :)

2 questions.

i missed yesterday because i was so sick-- but ill catch up now.
first question... somewhere youd like to move or visit.

ive thought about this a lot. i love visiting new places and i love change. if i could move itd be to louisiana. i was born there and would love to move there. southern people are the best. plus the food is amazing. or id move to like south carolina. just a thought. visit tho- i would absolutely LOVE to go to ireland. ps i love you made me want to go there sooo bad. its gorgeous. i would love to just go there for a week. me &my best friend always talk about doing just that before we get married.... but not gonna happen now. hahahahahah

second questions... write 30 facts about yourself.
i dont think this is all that necessary because i have a page at the top of my blog but ill write a few.
-i am now pescaterian. i eat no meat- except for seafood.
-im obsessed with dvds. if i had the money id buy them all
-i have an irregular heartbeat
-i am baby crazy
-id love to meet the cast of glee
-i wanna to go to the ellen show SO BAD
-i love lyrics of songs.
-id much rather sit at home then go out
-i would love the beach if the sand didnt get everywhere


til next timeeee.

ever realize-

that you are extremely blessed? yeah well i did today. i am still pretty sick and i was really bored so i decided to make a slide show of tanner & i's relationship. hes kind of the best. tanner clearly goes on his mission soon.. everyone is well aware if you read my blog. the discussion of if im gonna wait for him constantly comes up. & yes i am. tanner is truly my best friend. i want to spend forever with him and no one makes me happier. i always think about how hard its going to be with him gone for 2 years because ive honestly spent the past year and a half connected at the hip with him. im excited to write him every week, send him packages, and especially excited for it to be over with. this is a slideshow from the very beginning of our relationship until now.

i love you babe. 

my saturday night.

this weekend i havent felt too great. i have a really bad sore throat and my head feels as if it weighs close to 1 ton. but anyyyway. so tanner & i got invited on a group date by my new bestfriend ali hill& her bf jaycob brugman. jaycob plays baseball at byu & ali could quite possibly be the sweetest girl alive. we went out to park city & ate pizza at davanzas. BOMB--btw, then went to alis condo at a ski resort to hot tub & play games. it was really fun minus the fact that i seriously feel like crap. although saturday is over-- here is my question....

how have you changed in the past 2 years?

i asked tanner which question to choose & he liked this one. i honestly have changed in about every aspect you can think of. in march of 2010 i was a junior in high school. i mean i guess i still look the same but everything else about me feels different. i was in the middle of training for track and getting ready to go to regionals for shot put. most people think thats a joke- but seriously im a beast. :) i had friends then that i still have, and other friends that i havent spoken to since then. i think that one thing that really changed about me since then is my maturity level and my absolute need for the gospel in my life. first of all- i have alwayssss been mature for my age. i always have been grown up in a lot of ways. im an independent person and like to do things for myself. but over the past two years i really think i have had to grow up in different ways. i moved away from home and had no choice but to be a big girl. also the gospel has seriously become SO SO SOOO important. everyone i feel like has had times in their lives where they just feel so alone. that feeling sucks. its hard to just make yourself happy when you feel like everything around you is so difficult to deal with. over the past 2 years the LDS church has truly become something that i need in my life. moving away from home- i cried a lot. no one really knows but it stunk. it was hard because i am so family oriented and my siblings are seriously the best people ever. along with my parents of course. but prayer and conference talks are some of the things that i have grown to appreciate so much more. i got out of a relationship in 2010 and got into one that has truly changed my life. tanner has become the ultimate best friend and i dont give him all the credit he deserves for doing so much for me. he makes me happier than i can describe and has changed me in countless ways. i honestly am so blessed in so many ways.

an attempt...

to blog everyday this month- im gonna start this  interview survey thing. also i failed to mention yesterday how awesome my friend deidre edmunds is. she is adam millers (a beast pitcher at byu) gf. & completely amazing. she & i have gotten pretty close & i am lame & forgot to tell you guys all how much i appreciate her. :) also-- she is competing in miss idaho in june & you should do this for her :)

 If you're female, "Like" Venue Pageant and Prom's page. Make sure you let them know that Deidre Edmunds sent you! SHE NEEDS 13 MORE VOTES AND VOTING ENDS TONIGHT! please please please :) Thanks! click here & help her out :)

Okay- so first question on this lil interview...

Something that you miss.

This is a hard thing for me to write about because i miss A LOT of things. currently tho i am really missing my nanay (gma) gloria. she is probably one of the most important people in my life and i feel like i havent seen her in forever. if you dont know her she is kind of incredible and seriously i want to be just like her when i am older. i miss her cooking, her hugs, and especially being at her house. i have always said her house is better than disneyland- which is saying a lot because i would live at disneyland if i could.. but seriously her house is up there. she does soo much for so many people and i truly look up to her more than she knows. her & i have a relationship unlike any other i have in my life. she is one of my best friends and she tells me things that she doesnt tell anyone else. i trust her judgment more than 

anyone elses and i listen to her before anyone else. i love and miss her like crazy. 

since thursday is almost over....

i should probably blog :) my mom gets on my case if i dont. she says that she has no idea whats going on in my life, and she uses this to stalk me like a creeper. 

THANKFUL THURSDAY

-thankful for job interviews. i had one today at build-a-bear and i REALLY hope i get it. itd be such a fun job and id freaking love it. 

-thankful for the playlist i make for my blog. the songs right now are on repeat and i love them :)

-thankful for good news. lizzie lin called me tonight and told me that she knows who my roommates are for the summer and im way excited about it. she said they are way fun & easy going!!

-thankful for pinterest. it is seriously beyond addicting. no worries-- ive planned my wedding, bridal showers for an army of girls, my future home interior and exactly the ring i would love. call me crazy.

-thankful for tessa mcallister. she is kinda amazing. i am soo happy that we have gotten closer. she lets me come to costco with her, she lets me babysit her perfect angel & let me borrow the last 4 harry potter movies. oh & plus she cut tanners hair tonight and is freaking legit. talk about awesome. :)

-thankful for time. tanner is finally home for an entire weekend. time is seriously precious. i cant stress that enough. i feel like with baseball season i never see him. plus his mission is coming up. im thankful for every second with him. 

-thankful for caring friends and uplifting messages. if i havent mentioned this enough- i have incredible friends. and especially ones that have been around forever. brittany peterson- you are kinda my hero & i love you LOTS! kayla durnian- why cant we live closer to eachother. i miss you & appreciate all of your texts. & kayc- youre literally the best friend on the earth. 

-thankful for emojis. my lil bro finally for an iphone and emoji bombed me. i miss him & madilynne soooo much. 

-thankful for the miracle of birth. it is seriously one of the grossest but most amazing things ever. tanners cousin had her baby today and its insane to me that the human body can not only create and carry a baby but slip it out the way it does. NUTS. 

k the end for now :)